Week 8: Reapers & My Arms

Reapers by Jean Toomer
This brief poem is written about people sharpening their scythes and cutting down the grass in the field. I had to look up what a scythe was and found that it is similar to a sickle just longer. Imagining the poor rodent caught in the path of the tool was a little sad and actually made the act of cutting grass seem sinister. What other poor animals have fallen prey to the reaping?

My Arms by Paul Guest
This poem is written about a man and his inability to use his own body to preform tasks. toward the end of the poem he mentions that the woman in his life can now help him with his daily occupations. I researched the author of this poem online and found out that he was born the same year as me (1983) and that he led a totally normal life until age 12. When he was 12 he was in a bicycle accident that left him a quadriplegic. After researching the author I reread the poem and was able to fully understand it.

Week 8: Chapter 5 & 7 3-2-1 Response

3. Chapter 5 speaks of the sound (and look) of sense and chapter 7 describes metaphors. The sound of a poem is the way it falls on the readers ears, the look is similar to the sound as it determines how the poem will be viewed when the reader sees it. The way poets use alliteration by repeating certain consonant sounds in their writing, can paint an audible picture for the reader to follow. Onomatopoeia usage in poetry is fun and can add sound effects and interest to the poem. According to the text, metaphors and figurative speech are a way to create a poems density and reveal how the poets mind works.  The different ways to use metaphors in poetry allow for more imagination in writing it.


2. Being able to change the way a poem is written visually can create interest from a reader. I never thought to change the way things are physically laid our on paper to change the way they were read. Using personification to make inanimate objects come to life is a fun way to make the reader feel the things you are describing about them.


1. A question I have for my peers is "Is it difficult to digest poetry written with a lot of metaphors?" I find that I have a difficult time deciphering the true meaning when too many are used in the poem.

My baby arrived!

You might have noticed I wasn't in class yesterday, this is why!
Miss Charlotte Jean, born at 10:52 am 11/19, 7 lbs 7oz 21 3/4 inches long.

I hope you all have a great Thanksgiving :)

Week 7: Traveling through the dark and The next poem

Traveling through the dark by William Stafford
This poem was very sad to me, but yet I don't know if I wouldn' t have done the same thing. This poem is a perfect example of how a poet can write a short story in less than 20 lines. If he had cut the fawn out of the doe, who is to say that it wouldn't have died anyway? I still had a heavy heart after reading it, this piece did touch me.

The next poem by Dana Gioia
This is a poem written about writing a poem. I think it pokes fun st poems that are lengthy and boring and also talks about how it is difficult to get across emotion without sounding cheesy. the best part of this poem is the last lines which tell you even though the writer dislikes the things she has written about, she just did it to the reader. It is funny and a little ironic.

Week 7: Chapter 2 & 11 3-2-1 Response

3.  In chapter 2 verse is described and in chapter 11 devising and revising are explained.  The verse of a poem is how the poem looks, and subsequently how it is supposed to be read. the different formats and line breaks can guide the reader in where to take a breath and which lines and words are emphasized. Using different formats when writing poetry, such as the love sonnets, can change the way a poem is read. Focusing on the poetry you have written and rewriting and revising it is essential to make sure the very best words remain. When you review the poetry you have written, you can decide how to shape it so that it works best to portray exactly what you intended. By revising and devising your work you can prepare it for submission and hopefully publication. In some cases a poem written about one thing can have an entirely new meaning by changing a few key words or the perspective of the narrator or point of view of the poem. 


2. Knowing where to implement line breaks can be very confusing.  Along with using the line breaks it can sometimes change the meter of the poem for better or worse. Creating a community for your writing and submitting your work seems very difficult to me. The idea of "community" implies that you must search out a group of people to share your poetry with. I think poetry is very personal, even though i do not take it seriously. I have difficulty sharing with classmates let alone finding strangers to read and possibly criticize my words.


1. A question I have from this weeks reading is "Would you ever want to be a published poet?" I wonder how many of my classmates would actually enjoy writing for a living? i know that Baker is not necessarily a college that one would go to to become an English major, but how many students have discovered their love for it after taking classes like creative writing? It is always possible to transfer to another school (like Wayne State) and further their education and strive to be an English major, but how many do?

Week 6: Response to Chrysanthemums & The Other Cold War

Chrysanthemums by Spencer Reece-
In the poem it tells about a boy who has been badly burned and is going through debridement which is the surgical removal of dead tissue. I think the poem is written from the view point of a nurse or medical assistant who takes their mind off the horrors and sadness in the hospital by focusing on other things. In this story they focus on the living chrysanthemums outside the window to have a brief mental escape from the drama inside the hospital.

The Other Cold War by Adrian Blevins
In this poem the girl is talking about how she can tempt and hurt boys so easily. It says that she doesn't know how she possesses this power to turn the m and and them turn away from them so easily and break their hearts.   How she went from being an innocent baby to a hormonal teenager. I think the imagery in this poem is great, the moon, and the dixie cup comparisons being my favorite.

Week 6: Poetry Ch. 6 & 10 3-2-1 Response

3. In chapters 6 and 10, subject matter and finding the poem are discussed. The subjects or objects you can choose to study when writing poetry could be right around you at all times. The text suggests looking at objects around you and imagine how they perceive certain events as opposed to writing in first person about it. Using imagery in poetry helps to describe the setting, feelings, or actions without using many lines. It is much faster to use descriptive adjectives to get across these things than by doing it in the literal sense, as one would in a novel or short story. Imitation and Models are talked about in chapter 10. It is said in the text that you can become a better poet by reading other poets. It is less of being a copy cat and more about using poets for inspiration. By reading and interpreting the works of others, it is easier to understand rhythm and meter for your own poetry.


2. Choosing the subject when writing poetry is very difficult for me. If it is assigned to me then it is very easy, but if i were to try and wrote prose on my own, I don't think it would ever be successful. Also, I think it is difficult to copy other poets when it is hard to understand their work. I don't particularly enjoy poetry so I find it difficult to be serious when writing it. I guess these aren't really questions on the chapter but rather observations about my feelings toward the art form.


1. A question I have for my peers is "how do you write poetry that rhymes without feeling really cheesy?" It seems like every time I put pen to paper and have to rhyme it comes out very sarcastic or sing song-y in a bad way. How do people write rhyming poetry seriously? 

Writing Assignment 8: Love Sonnet

I don't quite understand how we ended up together.
And why not ten years ago, upon our first meeting?
Yet with all the storms we have and yet to weather,
I know you will be the one my lips will be greeting.


The happiness we have already shared is proof  we are right.
I know that with every passing season our love will continue to grow.
Still I look forward to seeing you walk through the door each night.
The smile on my face each time we meet is one that will always show.


You calm me down when I think I might blow my top.
You are always comforting when I am upset.
And I am there for you when you get the urge to stop.
To tell you "yes, it will be okay" so you forget.


This is why you will be my forever mate.
Until we have our last earthly date.

Writing Assignment 7: Family poem: Reunion

No one ever fights about who will cook lunch 
for all 13 brothers, sisters, and their offspring.
The picnic tables never get moved from their
resting places in the park.
We don't try to hide the table with "Carol Grace is a slut"
carved into it so my grandmother gets upset.
And my cousins never arrive still intoxicated 
from the evening prior.
They only fill their coffee mugs with coffee
and maybe an occasional pop.
We never ignore our children on the playground 
until one of them is hurt.
The family loves to sit close to one another and
never try to have an excuse to leave early.
We never secretly hope for rain to fill the park 
and send everyone packing.
Rude comments and remarks directed toward 
one another are seldom heard leaving our lips.


NO! Why would we have to do things like this? My family is perfectly normal.
A reunion without fighting, alcohol, and lies would be a family reunion that's boring.

Writing Assignment 5: Four Square

It was another cheery day at Meadow Creek Elementary. The sun was hot, the clouds were the soft fluffy kind, and you could just smell the pizza being prepared in the cafeteria across the field. Janet, the most stern yet prettiest girl in the 4^th grade, was already suggesting everyone line up for four square. Per usual, John and I began to argue as we made our way to recess as to who will be able to stand next to Janet in the coveted King square, she always stayed in the Queen square. I feel rather confident because unknown to John, today will be my victory day. I have a little something up my sleeve

“So Ben, what are we going to bet on or trade today?” John asked me with a smirk.

“I don’t know, I thought because I let you have the window seat this morning you’d be willing to give it to me” I suggested.

“ Ha! You didn’t let me sit there, I beat you to the bus stop this morning fair and square” he retorted quickly.

The bus stop. I can’t help to shudder when he says those two words. It was the place our friend ship started when we both had the same lunch box in 1^st grade. The place we arrived at half an hour early on Fridays to plan our weekends. It’s the place we showed each other drawings of the ultimate super heroes. And last fall it was the place where John and I began to drift apart. And it’s all because of something I tried to stand up for him about. Santa Claus. We had been kicking piles of leaves and talking about making our lists for Christmas when a couple older kids, the Pyle brothers, overheard our conversation. The Pyle brothers were known for their cruelty to animals and girls. One time, I heard that they cut off a girl’s pigtail because she wouldn’t share her Halloween candy with them. No one knows if it is true, and we were all too scared to question it.

“So Ben, are you going to ask your mom for the new Xbox, or do you think it’d be better to have Santa bring it?” John asked me innocently.

“I don’t want to ask my mom for anything this year, she is still working really hard without dad being around” I tell him.

“Well Santa always brings what I ask so why don’t you just ask him instead?” he replied.

“John, sometimes Santa doesn’t bring everything I ask for, I think maybe I ask too much” I tell him.

“Santa? Are you guys babies or something?” I hear a familiar voice and spin around to meet eye to chin with Dan Pyle, the meaner of the two.

“Yeah Dan, I think they are babies, that must be why they sit and talk about Santa Claus” his brother Dave chimed in.

“HAHA! Ben Stone believes in Santa still” John points and laughs accusingly at me.

“What? Wait, I thought we were talking about our Christmas plans” I ask John with a tremor in my voice.

“Yeah but YOU still believe in Santa, and I don’t, you big baby” John stands with the Pyle boys as they all being to taunt me and laugh at me.

And like that our friendship was over. I can’t believe he abandoned me to save himself. And I know he still believes in Santa because we have been talking about him ever since we met. We of course didn’t believe that he squeezed down our chimney, but we knew it was the magic suit that allowed him to travel through walls and carry so many presents. How could John abandon me like that? Did he really not believe anymore?

“Ben Stone is a baby!” my thoughts were interrupted by the chants of the other 8 kids at the bus stop pointing and laughing at me.

I still don’t make eye contact with the kids at my stop. And next year it will be worse because my brother Eric will be in Kindergarten and I will be expected to protect him too. At least the Pyle boys graduate this year, well maybe if they don’t fail. That would be just my luck. They remain in 5^th grade and make my life a living hell.

John and I began talking again after Christmas break, but I will never trust him again. He really hurt me and never apologized. So now we still sit together and eat lunch together but he is always trying to act like he isn’t really my friend when the popular kids are watching. I don’t really have any other friends unless I want to sit and talk to with Brendan Meyers, the nose picker. He was the kid who ate paste in 1^st grade and who gets blamed for every fart in class. I think I will take my chances with John, the back stabber.  And today was going to be my day to show him that I can play tough too. And I am not talking about my wicked awesome four square moves.

“Well, since we can’t agree who will take the square, I guess I will just go talk to Janet” I yell back to him as I have already started running toward her.

“What? You can’t, she won’t talk to you unless it’s about…” his voice trails off as I leave him standing stunned and alone.

By the time John finally reaches the game I am standing proudly in the King square with Janet by my side. His jaw drops down so far when he finally sees me holding the ball about to serve.

            “Hey Janet, I thought it was my turn to be in King square” John whined.

“Well, Ben helped me with my homework yesterday so I told him he could have King      Square all week” Janet answered the confused boy.

I did it. I Ben Stone, believer in Santa, beat John honestly. Now I bet he will think twice before treating me poorly.

Writing Assignment 6: Poem 1: Hallways

Hallways

When the children are packed in their buses

I walk and sweep up from the day.

Love notes, homework, and food wrappers

like dead leaves on the floor of hallways.

Once full of life, and hormones raging,

the hallway echoes with each stroke.

I stop, pick up something I see,

giggling like I’ve just heard a joke.

A small pendant with a faded photo,

of two boys sitting on top a truck.

I glance briefly over my left shoulder,

in my pocket it slides, I’m in luck.

Another trophy from the hallway,

A trinket for me to have instead;

of the brats who litter my school,

who I would much rather see dead.

Writing Assignment 4: Time and Place writing Assignment: Addie & The Dragon

Once upon a time in land far, far, away there lived a little girl named Adeline. Adeline was one of the best at what she did, and she was a dragon slayer. When you look at the little girl you will notice that she only stands about 45 inches tall and is only 4 ½ years old. She began to slay dragons by accident one afternoon while playing a game by herself in her bedroom on a rainy day. It went something like this:
“Stop evil dragon or I will kill you” Adeline laughed as she waved her Styrofoam sword toward her dog, Clementine. She had a purple cape tied to her neck and was dangling off her bunk bed to defeat the make believe dragon played by her more than willing energetic lab mix dog.  Every afternoon while her mother was in the living room working on school work Adeline would play in her bedroom pretending to be a princess who slayed evil dragons. This day they had been playing for only about 10 minutes when Adeline suddenly slipped off the edge of her bed and fell with a thud to her bedroom floor, except when she rolled onto her back and pulled her cape off her head she was looking at a bright orange sky and could smell fresh grass, not like the grass outside her house which was surely dead and now covered in two inches of snow, but fresh spring grass, almost sweet.
“Mom!” she cried out, “Hello? In anyone here?” The little girl looked down the hill to see a small cottage with a thatched roof, much like one in the books she had been reading with her mother. She decided to approach the cottage and knock on the door.
An old man with a cane hobbled out and said “Princess Adeline! What are you doing so far away from the castle?”
The castle? Princess? What was this man talking about, and how did he know her name, Addie wondered in disbelief? He reminded her of the old man she would see on his porch when she and her mom took the dog on the long walk around the neighborhood.
“Well than, we had better get you back! It is almost suppertime” he grumbled as he motioned her to step inside his giant radish shaped car. For some reason, Adeline didn’t hesitate and she climbed in and within 20 minutes she was in front of a castle she recognized from her storybooks, but couldn’t remember which one.
“Mommy!” she squealed with delight as she entered the door of the castle. She ran directly into her mother’s arms except something was different, her smell. Mom looked the same, but she smelled like flowers. Adeline didn’t remember mom having any perfume that smelled like that, and she was also wearing a fancy queen robe. Adeline soon figured that she must be dreaming.
“Adeline, my sweet Adeline, did you ever find Clementine the evil dragon during your adventure today?” her mom inquired.
“What?” stammered Adeline, “I think I am having a dream, Mommy”.
“No silly little girl, you are my Adeline, my dragon slaying princess daughter” Mom reassured her.
Now Addie was very confused, but she smelled something familiar and her tummy began to grumble. Macaroni and cheese! It was her favorite food in the world; she knew that smell without even having to see it.
Excited and starving Adeline approached the dinner table with the purple linens where she sat next to her mom and behind the biggest plate of macaroni and cheese she had ever seen. Adeline became so excited that she grabbed for her golden fork and accidentally dropped it on the floor. She bent down to get it and bumped her head so hard she fell on the floor and pulled the purple tablecloth on top of her. When she pulled it off her head she noticed that she was back in her room, being licked by her dog.
A dream? But the macaroni smelled so real?
“Adeline” her mother called from the living room,” lunch time, I made your favorite! Macaroni and cheese!”
“Coming mommy!” Adeline yelled back. She jumped up and headed for the living room.

Writing Assignment 3: Internal monologue writing: Audrey & David

*** the monologue portion is written in red ink***

“What happened to your face?” she asked in a mild tone.
“I don’t want to talk about my day. Can we just try to have a normal dinner for once?” He snapped back.
“David, you can’t keep going on like this, you can’t lose that job or we’ll…”
“Or you’ll have to actually get of your ass and do something? Oh no. POOR Audrey.”
“Don’t say things like that; you know if I wasn’t taking all of these classes to better OUR life, I would be out there working just like you!” She started to tremble. Fighting wasn’t a strong skill for her.
“HA HA HA! Yeah, that’s really great. Imagining YOU still working. Al you do is read those books and go to that damned place 5 days a week where YOU pay them money. And what do I get? A bitchy girlfriend!” he said.
“I am your fiancee, or have you decided to forget about that like you forgot my birthday last week?” She snapped back, surprised she had such a quick retort.
“fiancee my ass, the way we are going now we will never be able to afford a wedding. And besides, you haven’t even told your dad that we are engaged! So yeah, I think girlfriend is pretty fitting right now”.
No wedding? He can’t be serious. I mean, I know we can’t afford one now, but as soon as school is done everything will get better, right? He wants me to tell dad about how we are living right now? That’ll never happen! Dad would flip out if he knew what kind of job David was working right now to make ends meet. I mean, since mom died, he hasn’t been able to cope with any major change or disappointment. It would crush whatever soul he has left. Then again, if we don’t tell dad now and he finds out someway, he will be even more crushed that his princess lied to him and has been keeping things. I mean, that’s what Janet did with her whole lying about being on a missionary trip but actually running around with that artist girlfriend of hers escapade last summer and he still hasn’t forgiven her! I can’t bear to think of what he would do if he found out both of his daughters were liars. No. We had better hold off on talking to dad about this. Maybe we can just go visit next weekend and have dinner with him, we really should give him a call.

“Well, how am I supposed to tell him? Should I call him right now, ‘Hey dad, guess what? You know David, my boyfriend of 5 years who quit the firm and now works as a bouncer at a strip club? Well, we’re getting hitched’ Is that what I should say?!” she began to yell. “What do you want me to do?”
“Listen baby” he spoke in a low calm tone, “I just hate how we are living right now, I hate this tiny closet apartment. I hate the fact that I am working in the club. I hate that I can’t buy you all of the nice things like I used to… you know. Before.”
“And I keep telling you I never cared about those things, just us,” she said as she swallowed the ball that had formed in her throat. “We just have to get through this. I am almost done with these classes and the internship should start soon. Now get over here and let me clean that cut before it gets all crusty .Then we can have our dinner.”
“But I thought the bad boy look turned you on, babe?” He smiled.
“Shut up and turn on the stereo you big dork!” She smiled right back.

Writing Assignment 2: Dialogue Writing Assignment: Audrey & David

Week 2- Dialogue Assignment.
“What happened to your face?” she asked in a mild tone.
“I don’t want to talk about my day. Can we just try to have a normal dinner for once?” He snapped back.
“David, you can’t keep going on like this, you can’t lose that job or we’ll…”
“Or you’ll have to actually get of your ass and do something? Oh no. POOR Audrey.”
“Don’t say things like that; you know if I wasn’t taking all of these classes to better OUR life, I would be out there working just like you!” She started to tremble. Fighting wasn’t a strong skill for her.
“HA HA HA! Yeah, that’s really great. Imagining YOU still working. Al you do is read those books and go to that damned place 5 days a week where YOU pay them money. And what do I get? A bitchy girlfriend!” he said.
“I am your fiancee, or have you decided to forget about that like you forgot my birthday last week?” She snapped back, surprised she had such a quick retort.
“fiancee my ass, the way we are going now we will never be able to afford a wedding. And besides, you haven’t even told your dad that we are engaged! So yeah, I think girlfriend is pretty fitting right now”.
“Well, how am I supposed to tell him? Should I call him right now, ‘Hey dad, guess what? You know David, my boyfriend of 5 years who quit the firm and now works as a bouncer at a strip club? Well, we’re getting hitched’ Is that what I should say?!” she began to yell. “What do you want me to do?”
“Listen baby” he spoke in a low calm tone, “I just hate how we are living right now, I hate this tiny closet apartment. I hate the fact that I am working in the club. I hate that I can’t buy you all of the nice things like I used to… you know. Before.”
“And I keep telling you I never cared about those things, just us,” she said as she swallowed the ball that had formed in her throat. “We just have to get through this. I am almost done with these classes and the internship should start soon. Now get over here and let me clean that cut before it gets all crusty .Then we can have our dinner.”
“But I thought the bad boy look turned you on, babe?” He smiled.
“Shut up and turn on the stereo you big dork!” She smiled right back.

Week 5: Chapter 7: My Kid's Dog

Though this story is about the death of a family dog, it is done in a humorous way. I can see the hate for the dog  in the things the father says and how he keeps calling it different names. It reminds me of how my husband feels about our dog,which sadly went to live with my brother for an undecided amount of time. I like in the story how the father has this mental struggle with keeping the dog buried and has to end up lugging it's dead body in a suitcase to the vet to be examined. My favorite part of the story s when the main character runs into a person in town who offers to help with his burden and he has to lie about the contents of the suitcase. I think the dog got the last laugh.

Week 5: Chapter 7 3-2-1 Response

3. In the Chapter 7 reading, the importance of the drama and conflict are discussed. Anyone can wrote a story but to get the readers to buy the book and continue turning the pages, unfortunate things may have to happen to the protagonist. If there is no drama in the book, there will be no conflict and the characters will never have to struggle. Curiosity keeps readers reading, and without wondering what will happen next, a story becomes more like an uneventful journal entry. The conflict then must be resolved to have events continue to happen throughout the text. There can be many mini struggles inside of a story, but there has to be a main conflict and resolution for a story to be successful. 


2.I understand the section on the Arc of the story, but if it is worth mentioning, I think it could be expanded further. Desire and danger whether it be positive or negative is important but I don't understand how it makes one plain arc in the story if it is already part of the plot. With the patterns of power section of the text, it is described that it is important to not let the action be entirely one sided, but rather to have different things balance one another out to help build central conflict. 


1. A question for my peers this week is: " What problems did you have cutting out information not important to the individual characters and plot points (or arcs) of the story?" Because our stories have to be a certain length I found myself not enjoying building the character as much as writing the dialogue for the action or drama of the story. 

Week 4: Chapter 6: Feelers

In the story, the author uses time to tell about the main character, describe their affair, and the way he has abandoned by his love all in a short vacation in about two pages of text. Because the author explains about the things the characters do not know about one another, you know that they are very happy to be on vacation and having their fling with one another. It is odd to me that the woman, Miriam, does not want Harlan to be involved in the child's life or want anything further to do with him. I wonder if he is happy that he had some action during vacation and had a chance to meet a new lover, or if he will become depressed about the one that got away. Taking into consideration that both characters are from the same geographic location, it would not be surprising if they ran into one another in the future. I like to think this will happen and they will live a dysfunctional happy ever after.

Week 4: Chapter 5: The Sea Fairies

This story sets the scene with the wet cold weather of December which also works because it keeps the setting more ominous , allowing the pretend fairy land of the little girls to seem that much brighter. The house in which the story took place was very easy to picture myself inside of thanks to the authors descriptive words like the "heavy curtains" in the living room, and the "high ceilings of a room smelling like wax and pine". As you read the story inside the story of the sea fairies and how they are escaping the evil "Zog" it is easy to imagine the little girls running around playing the game. My daughter does similar games with her friends. Knowing the mother of the girls passes away makes it hard to finish the story. I do enjoy stories where everything ends hunky dory.It was a good story, just not one to read when you  are pregnant and hormonal!

Week 4: Chapter 5 & 6: 3-2-1 Response to the reading

3. Chapters 5 & 6 dealt with fictional place and time. When developing the place in which characters live it is important to remember to have it make sense to who they are and what the conflict is. The place in which a story is set is the atmosphere of the story, or where the characters "breathe" (p. 167). Without describing to the reader the setting in which the story takes place, it may be hard for the reader to fully understand what is happening. When speaking of fictional time, it is the time in which things occur in the story. Some books may only  be a few hundred pages long, but can include the entire life of a character from birth to maturity. The way the author uses time sequences and flashbacks can dictate how much of the character we can understand in the given word count of a story. A flashback can allow an author to explain the significance of an event without having to go into extreme detail about the event. A flashback can be like a summary of events or emotions about an event that can build plot or character. 


2. Revision is something that I find terribly difficult. I have a hard time getting rid of pages or sentences which I feel like I spent a long time preparing. I know now because we have talked so much about, and done some in our own writing, that revision is very necessary in order to have successful writing, but I still can't help to feel attached to what I have written. I would like to read more on how to sift through and navigate to the pure meat and potatoes of stories and get rid of all the extra sides which aren't necessary to the meal of the story.


1. A question I would like to ask my classmates would be " What is the most difficult thing about setting a place in the stories you have written?" Was it easy because you based them on your life? Did you create a place based on something you have seen in a movie or tv show?

Week 3: Chapter 9: Keith

I enjoyed this story and was a little miffed to see it end without better explanation as to what happened to him. I enjoyed the story and the way it was mostly told through the eyes of Barbara. It sounded like a fun adventure in high school and I could relate with the funny bowling ball part because it sounds like stuff that my girlfriends and I did in high school. I wonder what kind of impact Keith actually had on the girl.

Week 3: Chapter 9: 3-2-1 Response

3. When reading over what you have written it is a good idea to walk away from it for awhile and come back to it later. Many times when you are reviewing something too soon to when it was written, you will still miss mistakes you have made. Taking a break and allowing it to be fresh again is a good rule of revision. Another item you want to consider with revision is deciding "what have i written?" after you have finished. Does it work with your characters? Does the plot make sense? Is the dialogue accurate to the characters? Peer review is a great way to revise your writing or get help moving into a new direction. Using comments and critiques from our in class reviews is a great way to see a different perspective than what you have written.

2. I found it hard to find two items in which I would like further refinement because this chapter was pretty straightforward.

1. A question I would like to ask my peers is "What do you like least about workshopping papers?" I dislike being in class and having people in front of youwhile you are reading the story. Sometimes I think people who don't have to be around you would give you a more honest opinion on the writing. I feel like maybe some classmates feel the pressure to be too nice when criticisizing and we don't end up with as accurate a review on the work.

Week 2: Chapter 4: Bullet in the Brain

In the story "Bullet in the Brain" the main character, Anders, is shot in the head during a bank robbery and you hear from his point of view the memories which come flooding into his mind as he is dying. The way the memories are written is very much like stream of consciousness writing. He is not too likable a character but you are able to see how he thinks while he is scrolling through the memories he is surprised he did not have come flooding back. It is almost confusing once you being to take it apart. Everyone in class talked about how it was a surprise ending to the story but I do not agree. I thought from the beginning that he was going to be killed because of the way the author portrayed the character.

Writing Assignment 1:Epiphany writing: Santa is coming

    Finally after what feels like the longest bus ride home ever, we pull up to the street I have been walking Eric and myself to the bus stop since August, Fresno Lane. I can’t believe it is finally here, the week of Christmas! Not having to go to school for a whole week felt like it took a lifetime to get here.  Eric even seems to understand the amazing week ahead free of school even though this is his first winter break. Mr. Curry is outside trying to look like he is not struggling with the two inches of snow that has fallen since this morning. “Hey boys, you ready for Santa?” he asks, taking a break from his shoveling. My brother being only 5 blurts out, “YES! And my mom said I could put out extra carrots for the reindeer!” As he replied he began to jump up and down with excitement. Great, now it will be really hard to keep him calm while I do my homework until mom comes home. He will probably rattle on about the reindeer all afternoon.  “And what about you, Benny?” Mr. Curry asks with a wink toward my direction. “oh yeah, I can hardly wait” I try to hide my excitement because, as his wink implied, no 9 year old boy should believe in Santa, but I really do. Me, Benjamin Stone, a fifth grade boy who still (secretly) believes in Santa.

The last time I talked about it with anyone except Eric and mom was in Mrs. Well’s third grade class, and that ended with me getting made fun of the whole school year. But you see, I don’t believe that he is a guy with a suit who jumps down your chimney with a sack, but I think he is more of a wizard, a magic guy. And plus, last year, I swear I saw something Christmas Eve outside the window.  I mean, how else can you describe the hoof pounding and sleigh bells jingling and the cookie crumbs and nibbled carrots left every year? And the other physical proof, the toys! The glorious piles of toys each stacked neatly for each of us boys and the bulging stockings. Mom could never afford all of that, especially after dad left. She always tells us how she has had to put in extra hours the last two years just to pay all the extra November and December winter bills that come. No, I write Santa a letter with my wish list and he gets me almost everything every year. The other kids my age probably just know it’s their parents because they don’t believe in Santa anymore.

The sound of the garage door opening and Eric screaming, ”Mommy is home”  jars me from the long division homework I have been half paying attention to while he watched his afternoon cartoons. It must be 5:30. My mom stumbles in the door with a huge ham and a few groceries in her arms. Christmas dinner! “Ben, will you help me get the last bags of groceries out of the trunk please?” she says as she heaves the cut of pork into the fridge. “Yes Ma’am!” I say without hesitation. I can’t believe we get to spend a whole week together as a family. We haven’t done that since dad left.

I open the trunk and grab the couple bags with my left hand and as I hoist them out a couple apples roll out into the back of the trunk. I grab at them with my free hand and accidentally pull the bag full of my mom’s dry cleaning with it. As I try to put it back something catches my eye. An electric guitar and amp in a bright red box?! Oh wow! That’s exactly what I wanted! And look, the Power Ranger action figure Eric has been obsessed with the last two months! Suddenly, fear takes over and I push the bag back concealing the presents and look to make sure my mom hasn’t seen any of this. Whew, she didn’t and I am safe! I walk back in the house with the groceries and tell mom how excited I am about getting to spend time together this week. She seems to buy that my excitement is only about the time off.

………………………………………………………………………………………..

It is finally Christmas Eve! I help mom by doing the dishes so she can give Eric his bath and get him tucked into bed. I can’t wait till he is old enough to start doing chores. Mom walks in and kisses me on the forehead as I finish the last dish and tells me she has a special surprise for me in the morning. I try to act surprised and then go into my room for the difficult task of falling asleep while I wait for Santa.

At 6:30am, mom comes into my room and whispers to me “I think it’s your turn to help me jingle and wake Eric”. I groggily stumble toward the family room to see the table with milk drank and cookie crumb. I start to get excited. Before I can say or do anything my mom shoves a string with bells on my hands as she starts hurriedly nibbling on a carrot saying “Oh I almost forgot about these!” She motions to me to start shaking the bells, which I do, as she pounds her hands on the wall and stomps her feet loudly. She then throws the half eaten carrot on the table, grabs the bells from me, and runs to her room. Moments later Eric bursts into the living room, “he came, he came, Santa came!” But I can’t react; I have been staring at the piles of presents I see glistening beneath the tree. As I take steps toward them the sinking feeling in my stomach grows. A red box with a guitar and amp is atop my Santa stack and the Power Ranger is on Eric’s. I start to slowly realize what I should have two years ago in Mrs. Well’s class, he is not real.

Mom comes out faking a yawn, “wow, looks like Santa might have had some help this year” she says as she nods knowingly at me. Did she not know? Does she have any idea what she’s done? She ruined the last thing that a 9 year old boy still believed in.

Week 2: Chapter 3: Following the Notes.

I chose the story written from a young girls point of view. it has dialogue between her and her father after he picks her up when she has car trouble. The use of dialogue in the story tells you many things that are not obviously written out in the story. I got the impression that the relationship between her mother and herself as well as the relationship between the mother and the father was a bit strained.I picked this up by the way she talked about her mom being "sick" when she knew she was hungover. Also when the mother excuses herself from the dinner table and leaves the rest of the family there. Perhaps she is in some dark depression? Or maybe the father is a composer/musician that hasn't sold any work lately and the family is struggling because of it? To be told what is happening from this girls point of view does still leave a lot for the imagination, but the pace, format, and style keep you right in her (a late teen early twenties girl) mind. 

Week 2: Chapters 3 & 4: 3-2-1 Response to the reading

3. This week we read Chapters 2 and 3 about characterization and we learn that format and style are important in allowing the dialogue between characters, or from the character to the reader, to flow naturally and avoid having the reader realize that they are, in fact, reading. This lets them get caught up in the reading and use their imagination to see the picture the author is painting for them. Thought,which as the text describes is "the territory of the characters mind above all likely to be the center of action," is what we are seeing through the characters eye. This can show you what the characters wants are, and why they do certain things. This tied in with what we discussed from the point of view chapter in  Chapter 8. The section on credibility explains how we as writers need to give the reader an explanation of gender, class, age, class, time period, and so on soon into the reading in order to keep them intrigued. It isn't necessary to explain it all, but rather to let the dialogue and context clues in the story allow them to make the proper connection. 


2. One thing which can use further explaining is the section on pacing. Without being an experienced writer it is very difficult to know when you are giving enough and when you are giving too much about the character and the current scene. When writing the epiphany for last weeks assignment, it was difficult to know what parts of the story to elaborate on to build the character, or if it was more important to get the entire story out in the allotted pages.


1. Something to talk about during Saturdays class is the way we used the characters in our writing assignment to describe the situation, and which parts of characterization from the reading assignment would be helpful to concentrate on to help build our characters. 

Week 1: Chapter 8 point of view: Who's Irish?

Gish Jen was the author of the story "Who's Irish" that I chose to read from chapter 8. The story is written from first person of  grandma and her only family is her daughter, granddaughter, and son in law. The story is written with a sort of English/Chinese dialect that is difficult to follow at first, but after a few paragraphs I found myself reading along quickly. In the story the grandmother seems to be a care taker of her granddaughter every day, even though she is 67 (70 in Chinese) years old. It is't until an elevated incident at a play ground that I thought anything was wrong with the way she cared for her grandchild. After the incident, her daughter moves her out of the house and she is cut off from the child's life. I thought it was a very sad ending to the story. The parents trusted her to take care of this little girl every day, which was probably too much for a woman of her advanced age to do, and then they are surprised when a problem finally arises. Instead of addressing the issue they shut her off from the child entirely. I think that it is really sad.

Week 1: Chapter 8: 3-2-1 Response to the reading

3. In chapter 8 we learn the different point of views that can be written from. First we learn "Who Speaks" and we are introduced to the third, second, and fist person that could be narrating. Next we look into "To Whom" where we learn who the narrator will be speaking to meaning the narrator is speaking to the reader, another character, themselves, using interior monologue or by stream of consciousness. The next thing is "In What Form" where we learn the degree of self-consciousness the reader is speaking in. After the form is discussed we learn about "At What Distance" and we learn about the authors intent to have us identify with the character and how well they want us to understand them, to pull us toward sympathy or even disgust depending on the authors intention. We learn that the only place there can be no distance is between the author and the reader. And the final subject in Chapter 8 is a warning on "Consistency" and we learn that one of the most important things in writing is to not forget the perspective (or point of view) that we began telling the story from.

2. Going back to the section "Who Speaks", the book mentions second person and that this is a more experimental form of writing usually not seen. I read the example given from Lorrie Moore's story, but I would like to see more examples of how an entire book could be written this way. The only thing I can think of is when the "Choose your own adventure" books were popular in the 1990's.

When talking about the form (In What Form) the chapter speaks of the level of consciousness that the narrator has of the story. The chapter rushes over this part of point of view but it should be explained in greater detail. I think it would be interesting to be able to slip form one point of view to the other to enhance the details a reader takes in, but I would like to hear more explanation.

1. A question  to ask any readers would be "how do you like to write for each kind of paper"? Is it first, second or third person and what kind of writing? When writing case studies or research papers, third person writing is an easier way to sound unbiased when trying to get a point across. Writing in a blog or social networking area tends to work better on first person because the audience is (hopefully) aware of who you are.

Week one test post

This is my attempt to check out how this Google Blogger works. Hopefully, this will be displayed in a way that is evident to my professor and class mates.