Week 3: Chapter 9: Keith

I enjoyed this story and was a little miffed to see it end without better explanation as to what happened to him. I enjoyed the story and the way it was mostly told through the eyes of Barbara. It sounded like a fun adventure in high school and I could relate with the funny bowling ball part because it sounds like stuff that my girlfriends and I did in high school. I wonder what kind of impact Keith actually had on the girl.

Week 3: Chapter 9: 3-2-1 Response

3. When reading over what you have written it is a good idea to walk away from it for awhile and come back to it later. Many times when you are reviewing something too soon to when it was written, you will still miss mistakes you have made. Taking a break and allowing it to be fresh again is a good rule of revision. Another item you want to consider with revision is deciding "what have i written?" after you have finished. Does it work with your characters? Does the plot make sense? Is the dialogue accurate to the characters? Peer review is a great way to revise your writing or get help moving into a new direction. Using comments and critiques from our in class reviews is a great way to see a different perspective than what you have written.

2. I found it hard to find two items in which I would like further refinement because this chapter was pretty straightforward.

1. A question I would like to ask my peers is "What do you like least about workshopping papers?" I dislike being in class and having people in front of youwhile you are reading the story. Sometimes I think people who don't have to be around you would give you a more honest opinion on the writing. I feel like maybe some classmates feel the pressure to be too nice when criticisizing and we don't end up with as accurate a review on the work.

Week 2: Chapter 4: Bullet in the Brain

In the story "Bullet in the Brain" the main character, Anders, is shot in the head during a bank robbery and you hear from his point of view the memories which come flooding into his mind as he is dying. The way the memories are written is very much like stream of consciousness writing. He is not too likable a character but you are able to see how he thinks while he is scrolling through the memories he is surprised he did not have come flooding back. It is almost confusing once you being to take it apart. Everyone in class talked about how it was a surprise ending to the story but I do not agree. I thought from the beginning that he was going to be killed because of the way the author portrayed the character.

Writing Assignment 1:Epiphany writing: Santa is coming

    Finally after what feels like the longest bus ride home ever, we pull up to the street I have been walking Eric and myself to the bus stop since August, Fresno Lane. I can’t believe it is finally here, the week of Christmas! Not having to go to school for a whole week felt like it took a lifetime to get here.  Eric even seems to understand the amazing week ahead free of school even though this is his first winter break. Mr. Curry is outside trying to look like he is not struggling with the two inches of snow that has fallen since this morning. “Hey boys, you ready for Santa?” he asks, taking a break from his shoveling. My brother being only 5 blurts out, “YES! And my mom said I could put out extra carrots for the reindeer!” As he replied he began to jump up and down with excitement. Great, now it will be really hard to keep him calm while I do my homework until mom comes home. He will probably rattle on about the reindeer all afternoon.  “And what about you, Benny?” Mr. Curry asks with a wink toward my direction. “oh yeah, I can hardly wait” I try to hide my excitement because, as his wink implied, no 9 year old boy should believe in Santa, but I really do. Me, Benjamin Stone, a fifth grade boy who still (secretly) believes in Santa.

The last time I talked about it with anyone except Eric and mom was in Mrs. Well’s third grade class, and that ended with me getting made fun of the whole school year. But you see, I don’t believe that he is a guy with a suit who jumps down your chimney with a sack, but I think he is more of a wizard, a magic guy. And plus, last year, I swear I saw something Christmas Eve outside the window.  I mean, how else can you describe the hoof pounding and sleigh bells jingling and the cookie crumbs and nibbled carrots left every year? And the other physical proof, the toys! The glorious piles of toys each stacked neatly for each of us boys and the bulging stockings. Mom could never afford all of that, especially after dad left. She always tells us how she has had to put in extra hours the last two years just to pay all the extra November and December winter bills that come. No, I write Santa a letter with my wish list and he gets me almost everything every year. The other kids my age probably just know it’s their parents because they don’t believe in Santa anymore.

The sound of the garage door opening and Eric screaming, ”Mommy is home”  jars me from the long division homework I have been half paying attention to while he watched his afternoon cartoons. It must be 5:30. My mom stumbles in the door with a huge ham and a few groceries in her arms. Christmas dinner! “Ben, will you help me get the last bags of groceries out of the trunk please?” she says as she heaves the cut of pork into the fridge. “Yes Ma’am!” I say without hesitation. I can’t believe we get to spend a whole week together as a family. We haven’t done that since dad left.

I open the trunk and grab the couple bags with my left hand and as I hoist them out a couple apples roll out into the back of the trunk. I grab at them with my free hand and accidentally pull the bag full of my mom’s dry cleaning with it. As I try to put it back something catches my eye. An electric guitar and amp in a bright red box?! Oh wow! That’s exactly what I wanted! And look, the Power Ranger action figure Eric has been obsessed with the last two months! Suddenly, fear takes over and I push the bag back concealing the presents and look to make sure my mom hasn’t seen any of this. Whew, she didn’t and I am safe! I walk back in the house with the groceries and tell mom how excited I am about getting to spend time together this week. She seems to buy that my excitement is only about the time off.

………………………………………………………………………………………..

It is finally Christmas Eve! I help mom by doing the dishes so she can give Eric his bath and get him tucked into bed. I can’t wait till he is old enough to start doing chores. Mom walks in and kisses me on the forehead as I finish the last dish and tells me she has a special surprise for me in the morning. I try to act surprised and then go into my room for the difficult task of falling asleep while I wait for Santa.

At 6:30am, mom comes into my room and whispers to me “I think it’s your turn to help me jingle and wake Eric”. I groggily stumble toward the family room to see the table with milk drank and cookie crumb. I start to get excited. Before I can say or do anything my mom shoves a string with bells on my hands as she starts hurriedly nibbling on a carrot saying “Oh I almost forgot about these!” She motions to me to start shaking the bells, which I do, as she pounds her hands on the wall and stomps her feet loudly. She then throws the half eaten carrot on the table, grabs the bells from me, and runs to her room. Moments later Eric bursts into the living room, “he came, he came, Santa came!” But I can’t react; I have been staring at the piles of presents I see glistening beneath the tree. As I take steps toward them the sinking feeling in my stomach grows. A red box with a guitar and amp is atop my Santa stack and the Power Ranger is on Eric’s. I start to slowly realize what I should have two years ago in Mrs. Well’s class, he is not real.

Mom comes out faking a yawn, “wow, looks like Santa might have had some help this year” she says as she nods knowingly at me. Did she not know? Does she have any idea what she’s done? She ruined the last thing that a 9 year old boy still believed in.

Week 2: Chapter 3: Following the Notes.

I chose the story written from a young girls point of view. it has dialogue between her and her father after he picks her up when she has car trouble. The use of dialogue in the story tells you many things that are not obviously written out in the story. I got the impression that the relationship between her mother and herself as well as the relationship between the mother and the father was a bit strained.I picked this up by the way she talked about her mom being "sick" when she knew she was hungover. Also when the mother excuses herself from the dinner table and leaves the rest of the family there. Perhaps she is in some dark depression? Or maybe the father is a composer/musician that hasn't sold any work lately and the family is struggling because of it? To be told what is happening from this girls point of view does still leave a lot for the imagination, but the pace, format, and style keep you right in her (a late teen early twenties girl) mind. 

Week 2: Chapters 3 & 4: 3-2-1 Response to the reading

3. This week we read Chapters 2 and 3 about characterization and we learn that format and style are important in allowing the dialogue between characters, or from the character to the reader, to flow naturally and avoid having the reader realize that they are, in fact, reading. This lets them get caught up in the reading and use their imagination to see the picture the author is painting for them. Thought,which as the text describes is "the territory of the characters mind above all likely to be the center of action," is what we are seeing through the characters eye. This can show you what the characters wants are, and why they do certain things. This tied in with what we discussed from the point of view chapter in  Chapter 8. The section on credibility explains how we as writers need to give the reader an explanation of gender, class, age, class, time period, and so on soon into the reading in order to keep them intrigued. It isn't necessary to explain it all, but rather to let the dialogue and context clues in the story allow them to make the proper connection. 


2. One thing which can use further explaining is the section on pacing. Without being an experienced writer it is very difficult to know when you are giving enough and when you are giving too much about the character and the current scene. When writing the epiphany for last weeks assignment, it was difficult to know what parts of the story to elaborate on to build the character, or if it was more important to get the entire story out in the allotted pages.


1. Something to talk about during Saturdays class is the way we used the characters in our writing assignment to describe the situation, and which parts of characterization from the reading assignment would be helpful to concentrate on to help build our characters. 

Week 1: Chapter 8 point of view: Who's Irish?

Gish Jen was the author of the story "Who's Irish" that I chose to read from chapter 8. The story is written from first person of  grandma and her only family is her daughter, granddaughter, and son in law. The story is written with a sort of English/Chinese dialect that is difficult to follow at first, but after a few paragraphs I found myself reading along quickly. In the story the grandmother seems to be a care taker of her granddaughter every day, even though she is 67 (70 in Chinese) years old. It is't until an elevated incident at a play ground that I thought anything was wrong with the way she cared for her grandchild. After the incident, her daughter moves her out of the house and she is cut off from the child's life. I thought it was a very sad ending to the story. The parents trusted her to take care of this little girl every day, which was probably too much for a woman of her advanced age to do, and then they are surprised when a problem finally arises. Instead of addressing the issue they shut her off from the child entirely. I think that it is really sad.

Week 1: Chapter 8: 3-2-1 Response to the reading

3. In chapter 8 we learn the different point of views that can be written from. First we learn "Who Speaks" and we are introduced to the third, second, and fist person that could be narrating. Next we look into "To Whom" where we learn who the narrator will be speaking to meaning the narrator is speaking to the reader, another character, themselves, using interior monologue or by stream of consciousness. The next thing is "In What Form" where we learn the degree of self-consciousness the reader is speaking in. After the form is discussed we learn about "At What Distance" and we learn about the authors intent to have us identify with the character and how well they want us to understand them, to pull us toward sympathy or even disgust depending on the authors intention. We learn that the only place there can be no distance is between the author and the reader. And the final subject in Chapter 8 is a warning on "Consistency" and we learn that one of the most important things in writing is to not forget the perspective (or point of view) that we began telling the story from.

2. Going back to the section "Who Speaks", the book mentions second person and that this is a more experimental form of writing usually not seen. I read the example given from Lorrie Moore's story, but I would like to see more examples of how an entire book could be written this way. The only thing I can think of is when the "Choose your own adventure" books were popular in the 1990's.

When talking about the form (In What Form) the chapter speaks of the level of consciousness that the narrator has of the story. The chapter rushes over this part of point of view but it should be explained in greater detail. I think it would be interesting to be able to slip form one point of view to the other to enhance the details a reader takes in, but I would like to hear more explanation.

1. A question  to ask any readers would be "how do you like to write for each kind of paper"? Is it first, second or third person and what kind of writing? When writing case studies or research papers, third person writing is an easier way to sound unbiased when trying to get a point across. Writing in a blog or social networking area tends to work better on first person because the audience is (hopefully) aware of who you are.

Week one test post

This is my attempt to check out how this Google Blogger works. Hopefully, this will be displayed in a way that is evident to my professor and class mates.